God is a God of absolute and complete order.  There is nothing random about anything He does or has ever done.  From the Solar System we zip around in at about 66,000 miles an hour, to the specific and precise placement of our planet in relation to the sun, to the delicately balanced Creation we live on.  All is in order, because it was designed to be so.

God’s Word establishes an order for every aspect of human life.  He gives order for the way a nation ought to be governed, the way a church should be overseen, and the way a home and family should be raised and operated.  God gives instructions for order, and He expects that we should follow these and institute and maintain order, for the alternative is Chaos.

Within the structure of the family unit, God establishes the order of authority in the very first family, even in the order of their arrival, as they appear on the scene in their already natural places.

In Genesis 2, Adam is created first, then comes Eve.  Both are aware of the order and precedent.  Adam had already been living in the garden, he had already named the animals, and had already set up housekeeping (bowling trophies on the mantle, Field and Stream on the coffee table, seat up in the bathroom, etc).

And then Eve happens along.  As the primary, Adam shows her around.  He tells her about the garden, the plants (what’s good tasting, what you can eat and what you can’t eat; “No, really, DO NOT eat that”), the names of the creatures and their characteristics, etc.  He is the authority, and was created first as a matter of order.

After Eve come the kids.  The kids also come behind their predecessors, and they see that Eve defers to Adam, and this is primarily how they learn to do so as well (“Children more attention pay, to what we do than what we say…”).  Kids learn to respect order and authority by observing it first in their homes.

Later in His Word, The Lord reiterates the order of the family for emphasis.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (23) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. (24) Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

1 Corinthians 11:11 Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord. (12) For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God.

There is a certain equality that is denoted here in this last verse, but with the understanding that the man is the head and thus carries the chief responsibility of the family.

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So there is an order established in Scripture for the family.  This order is God-ordained and exists not just as a random decision made simply to prevent chaos when trying to decide where to sit at the dinner table.  There are reasons for it.  And if we fail to follow this order, we do so at our own risk, and to our own detriment, for to do so is to forsake the Word and plan of God and all the benefits bestowed upon those who obey it.

We cannot pick and choose which of God’s precept we will follow.  This thing only works when the whole recipe is followed.  And one of the primary by-products or benefits of obedience in this particular area is personal liberty.

Liberty comes only after order and authority are established in one’s life.  Liberty cannot exist alongside chaos.  Chaos is the absence of order.  In fact, Chaos is the direct result of a lack of order.  Liberty exists when order is established and thus chaos is banished.  This is true in every nation, every state, and every home.

Order is established when laws are made, lines are drawn and landmarks are built.

Proverbs 22:28 Remove not the ancient landmark, which thy fathers have set.

Authority must be taken and exercised-by those for whom it is just and right to do so (fathers, mothers, spiritual leaders, etc) and also for those who are duty-bound by virtue of their office or calling.

Children must never be allowed to assume authority in the home, though many do through tyrannical means, causing parents to bend to the will of the children rather than the opposite.  This is completely counter-Scriptural and will drive away the blessing of the Lord on the home (any direct disregard or obedience of God’s Word will prevent the blessing from residing on the home of the disobedient).

When authority is not properly taken and proper order established, the Scriptures are transgressed since they give us a commandment to establish them, and a pattern for doing so.  When the Word of God is ignored, He cannot bless since our actions essentially tell Him He is not entirely welcome (“You’re invited but your friends (or rules) can’t come”).

If God is not entirely welcome in the home, neither are His blessings, His peace, and the Liberty that comes to “where the Spirit of the Lord is”.

2 Corinthians 3:17 Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

After authority is assumed, order can then be established.  When order is established, chaos and its partner confusion are dispelled as a direct consequence.  Then, and only then, can true peace prevail in the home.

1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.

1 Corinthians 14:40 Let all things be done decently and in order.

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“I’ve tried to establish authority in my home and it was just a huge battle.  A huge, messy, bloody battle”.

Yep, war’s like that.  Nobody ever said it was going to be easy.  But sometimes true peace can only be achieved after war.

And since it’s not flesh and blood we war against, it’s not those refusing our authority we war with so much as the spirit of rebellion, mutiny and anarchy.  Kids are born mostly anarchists, preferring no rules at all, but in the process of exercising their anarchy, they become mutineers, trying to seize authority that does not rightly belong to them, and for which they are vastly unprepared.

James 3:16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.

Notice how strife gives way to confusion (a lack of order) and mentioned with confusion is every evil work.  Evil works can easily be wrought and even concealed under chaotic conditions.  But when order prevails, evil deeds and foolishness stand out and can be swiftly dealt with.

1 Timothy 3:4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (5) (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

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One of the greatest and yet most overlooked examples of The Lord establishing order in His Creation is the institution of Marriage.  To fully appreciate this remarkable ordination, you need only to imagine life without it (which is much harder than it sounds).  Not your life, but life in general.  Imagine human history without it.

In the absence of marriage, men and women would not “settle down” as couples and would have sexual relations with multiple partners (possibly every one they came in contact with that pleased them), as there would be no inhibitions to doing so.  The widespread effect this would have on society and on individuals cannot even be fully comprehended.  The concept of a “family” would not be possible as few people would even know who their fathers were. Generational blessings could not be passed along, but generational curses surely would.

Good fathers tend to replicate themselves in their sons (though not always).  Marriage provides the platform for this to occur.  Generations of marriages do, actually.

The support system that comes with a family and an extended family would be virtually unknown if not for marriage.  The stability of a home with a mother and a father that children so desperately need would also be absent.  Men and women, husbands and wives, and fathers and mothers complement each other with their differing attributes, and children and ultimately society benefit from the complements.

Back in the 90’s, several mysterious killings of white rhinos were occurring in Pilanesberg Park in South Africa.  After much investigation, the killings were ultimately attributed not to poachers, but to a pack of juvenile bull elephants.  The killings were unprecedented and puzzled the park officials.  They were even able to finally observe the young bulls attack, bully and terrorize these rhinos.  Their aggressive and violent behavior was previously unknown and presently inexplicable. Well, almost inexplicable.

When trying to identify what made this pack of young bull elephants different from virtually all preceding generations, the officials narrowed it down to one possibility; they grew up without fathers.  Several years prior to the killings, the elephant population in nearby Kruger National Park was growing too large.  The easiest elephants to relocate were obviously the juveniles, so a group of them were moved to Pilanesberg and their parents were killed.  No one thought that these now-orphaned juveniles, like humans, would turn delinquent in the absence of father figures.  But it was the only explanation.

So what to do?  Test the theory.  Since park officials determined it was the absence of mature role models to establish authority and order that may be the problem, they relocated six mature bull elephants to the region where the juveniles were running amok.  The Rhino killings stopped immediately.  None have occurred since.  Order and authority.  Or tyranny and chaos.

Think about this; the institution of marriage is an argument against the theory of evolution. Marriage and even monogamy was God’s idea in the first place, and and were quite ingenious ideas at that.  Marriage is a morally based relationship, and one that runs counter to human selfishness, for in order for it to work properly, it requires selflessness and sacrifice.  And that is why it is falling out of favor today. The “if it feels good, do it” meme lasts about fifteen minutes in marriage.  Then it actually gets tough.

As we become more godless in modern times, the importance of marriage (and by extension the Family) is being diminished.  You need only to compare today’s crime statistics against those from say, 50 years ago, when marriage was highly valued and the family was what communities were built on, to see how this is working out for us.  The big crimes committed by the “misbehaving youths” of those days were drag racing at the edge of town and cutting school to go squirrel hunting.  We are not improving, or “evolving” as a society.  We are perverting marriage or turning away from it altogether, and spurning our creator in the process.  This price has been steep and is steadily increasing.

A good marriage and a healthy family honors The Lord, and His blessings will abound in this home.  Jesus said “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”, meaning what you invest yourself in, you will love more. Invest yourself into your relationship with Jesus Christ, your spouse, and also your children, and do so in that order. For order is the foundation on which blessing and liberty rests.