Every day we live in The Real World, we are faced with situations we are not comfortable with.  Many of these are people-related.  And of these, some are people who are different from us.  And of these, many are in the realm which my wife and I have become very familiar; special needs. “Special needs” can include a variety of conditions or circumstances such as developmental delays to full developmental disabilities, of which there are many sub-categories. Most special needs people do not relate or respond to the world like others do, and for this reason they make people uncomfortable. If this is you, don’t feel bad; you are far from the only one. However, since special needs people are a real part of The Real World, pretending they don’t exist or avoiding them when they are put in your path, is avoiding life in The Real World, which means living in a sort of non-reality.

More importantly, you are missing out on what I believe is one of life’s richest experiences; that of living with and loving someone who challenges you to stretch and grow beyond the type of relationship that carries the immediate rewards of mutual regard, and into one that mandates you to explore, to probe and to discover how to relate with and reach into this atypical person’s world.  For if you will apply yourself diligently to reach this “foreigner” (one who is foreign to the typical person),  when you succeed; when you see that first acknowledgement of your efforts, it is a moment like no other.

In the photo above, my wife is holding Sam, our adopted and very special needs son, as he reaches up to put his arm around her neck and return her embrace. He had just been trying to put his mouth to her face and give her a kiss, as many, many hundreds had been given to him. He was a little over two years old here, and the remarkability of these moments were astounding.  He was born with serious brain damage due to a stroke in utero.  His doctors told us he would live in a persistent vegetative state and never do much of anything beyond breathing and blinking his eyes.  He was also legally deaf and blind, among other diagnoses.

You can either accept what the Smart People say, or you can do what comes natural. Falling in love with Sam was as natural as breathing.  Loving on him and hugging and kissing him was more of a compulsion.  And we did it enough that he began to reciprocate.

I tell you again, there are no words to describe moments like these.  To say that love is a powerful force is a ridiculous understatement.  It drove us to expand our horizons and love beyond what made sense. It made an impact on a child that the Smart People said couldn’t be impacted.

I’ve heard that learning a new language is exercise for the brain.  It makes your brain work harder and can actually hinder the progress of Alzheimer’s. Trying to reach someone who is outside of your learned language and learned barriers is similar.

Most people are fairly committed to abiding within the confines of their “comfort zone”, but the boundaries of said zone are learned and thus can be manipulated.  As parents of both special needs and non-special needs kids, my wife and I do our best to ensure those confines include interacting with and regarding people with disabilities.  It has been one my greatest pleasures to have observed Michael, my 13 year old, interact with Sam and Sam’s classmates without fear or even hesitation.  He was crazy about Sam and gave him copious amount of attention and affection, and Sammy richly rewarded his efforts.

Expose your kids to people unlike them whenever you can.  Their “comfort zone” will include or exclude what you teach them to.

Heb 13:2 Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

If you have a person with special needs in your life or if this article has been a blessing to you, tell me about it in the comments section.